8 Relationship Checks All Couples Should Have for a Healthy Love Life

Jav censored download

Stuck in a relationship rut? Get to the root of the problem before the breakup happens by bringing up these relationship questionsJenna Birch | May 05, 2015


Have you ever talked to your guy, or even just stood in his presence, and had this nagging feeling that something was a little bit off? Call it a sixth sense or an unspoken undercurrent, but sometimes you just know when the train is beginning to run off the tracks. "There aren't usually flashing red warning lights to tell us when something needs attention," says LA-based couples therapist Ellen Bradley-Windell. "[We need to] embrace the idea of creating an effective maintenance plan for relationships."


It's up to you to gauge the health of your relationship periodically. With that in mind, here are some checkups you should make each time that sixth sense tingles.

SHAPE Magazine just $5.99 per FULL YEAR!


TAKE YOUR EMOTIONAL TEMPERATURE

CORBIS IMAGES


Windell says that the most important question in a relationship is often the simplest: How are we doing? "Every so often, take the 'emotional temperature' of your relationship. Ask each other, 'Do you feel like we are treating each other like best friends?' 'Are we treating each other with respect?' 'Can we communicateopenly?'" she says. "If you use this temperature gauge for your relationship, the reward is that you may be picking up the beginning of a problem early, and solve it before it deepens into a bigger issue." (Bringing up those big topics of conversation helps out in the bedroom, too. Have an Amazing Orgasm: Talk it Out.)
ASK FOR WHAT YOU NEED

CORBIS IMAGES


Marriage and relationship therapist Carin Goldstein says many couples bring complaints to the table instead of instructions. "Very, very often, I will have women say, 'You're not paying enough attention to me!' Men are very specific and concrete, so I always tell them: 'You need to tell him what that looks like.'" Does he need to hold your hand more in public? Ask more questions about your day? Men aim to please, and they like it when you give them a roadmap to success.
HAVE FUN TOGETHER

ISTOCK


Jav hd 2016
While it may not echo the early days of dating exactly, committed coupledom does not mean a lifelong sentence of drudgery and obligations. "Things may be fine day today, but the mood of your relationship may need to be revitalized," says Windell. "Take time to remind each other about fond memories you have shared together. Ask each other, 'Are we using our weekends together just taking care of business, or are we setting time aside to have fun and laugh and be silly?'" Keep telling those silly inside jokes that only your guy would get, and carve out quality time. "Make sure you keep the joy and laughter in your relationship, as it will strengthen the bond that you both deserve," says Windell.
CONNECT PHYSICALLY

CORBIS IMAGES


Goldstein says that one of the most common hiccups in relationships is forgetting to take care of the physical connection. Let's face it: It's one of the first things to go when you're really busy. "I'm not saying, 'You need to take care of your man,' or anything like that," she explains. "But it's something to be aware of—without physical contact, he can get grumpy. Men connect better emotionally when they're more connected to their significant other physically." Goldstein says that if it's been two weeks and you sense your guy's a little glum, you can often put two-and-two together—and it's a pretty simple fix. (Feeling uninspired in the bedroom? Try one of 9 Ways to Sex Up Your Relationship.)
SPEND TIME TOGETHER

CORBIS IMAGES

Jav movie 2016
Especially when couples are in a transitional phase, or one is traveling a lot, Goldstein says it's important to have a "sweat equity" checkup. "If one person is shouldering more of the burden at home, it can turn into a prickly dynamic between a couple," she says, saying women especially can become a little resentful. Oftentimes, the fix is just getting your partner to understand life fromyour shoes. "We all just want to be seen and heard," says Goldstein. Again, she says this comes down to being specific. Tell him his absence has you feeling disconnected, and you need more frequent phone calls or date nights—and he'll likely be on the phone asking about your day at the office, or go to work planning your next Friday night.